{"id":140319030,"date":"2024-01-24T10:40:58","date_gmt":"2024-01-24T10:40:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cynthiarodriguez.org\/2024\/01\/24\/440\/"},"modified":"2024-01-24T10:40:58","modified_gmt":"2024-01-24T10:40:58","slug":"440","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cynthiarodriguez.org\/eng\/2024\/01\/24\/440\/","title":{"rendered":"4:40"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Cuando naces con la m\u00fasica y la pierdes (y la recuperas)<\/h2><p><em>Escrib\u00ed esto en mayo del 2022. Estaba a\u00fan muy herida por las cosas que hab\u00eda pasado en el 2019 y sobre las que trata el zine Hazlo por Ella #1. Dur\u00e9 m\u00e1s de tres a\u00f1os teni\u00e9ndole miedo a la m\u00fasica. Ahora es parte de mi vida de nuevo. \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 habr\u00eda que deshacerme de ella, si hasta mi nacimiento fue musical?<\/em><\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/0cac14ef-6e51-4a59-a645-0833bde6fa09_1440x1440.jpeg\" width=\"478\"\/><\/figure><h1 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4:40\u00a0<\/h1><p>Las campanas de la iglesia suenan al fondo y me desdoblo.\u00a0<br\/>Sol\u00eda hacer m\u00fasica.\u00a0<br\/>Nac\u00ed a las 4:40.\u00a0<br\/>Crec\u00ed queriendo ser un pez para frotar mi nariz en tu pecera.\u00a0<br\/>El crescendo en \u201cDe M\u00ed Enam\u00f3rate\u201d de Daniela Romo fue una de mis primeras frases.\u00a0<br\/>Ped\u00eda \u201cLa Incondicional\u201d.\u00a0<br\/>Amaba a Pablo Ruiz.\u00a0<br\/>Fui a ver a Miguel Bos\u00e9 y a la Onda Vaselina.\u00a0<br\/>Me met\u00ed a clases de teatro a los seis a\u00f1os.\u00a0<br\/>Clases de comunicaci\u00f3n a los 11 \u2013 locuci\u00f3n, conducci\u00f3n, periodismo.\u00a0<br\/>Luego canto, baile, actuaci\u00f3n en el SET de Monterrey.\u00a0<br\/>Pasaba horas, d\u00edas, con la m\u00fasica como mi redenci\u00f3n, mi refugio. Escuchando y viendo D99, MTV, Telehit.\u00a0<br\/>Ganando convivencias en Planeta 104.5 con Nek y La Ley.\u00a0<br\/>Yendo a tardeadas a ver a Davide, Pinn, Miman\u00eda.\u00a0<br\/>Mi grupo de amistades, fans de Savage Garden que conoc\u00ed en el show de Ricky Toraya.\u00a0<br\/>Otras amistades como fans de Placebo, Radiohead, Sigur R\u00f3s, Muse, The Mars Volta.\u00a0<br\/>Mi marido, en uno de esos foros.\u00a0<br\/>En secreto, yo escrib\u00eda. Canciones, cuentos, poes\u00edas.\u00a0<br\/>Clases de guitarra, bajo, percusi\u00f3n, que dej\u00e9 porque eso no era de se\u00f1oritas.\u00a0<br\/>Eso no era de mujeres.\u00a0<br\/>Eso no era de mujeres gordas.\u00a0<br\/>Pero segu\u00ed yendo a conciertos. Entrevistas, bandas, rese\u00f1ar discos.\u00a0<br\/>Caribou, AIR, Editors, Calle 13, Teengirl Fantasy.\u00a0<br\/>Tomaba clases de escritura creativa y a veces le\u00eda lo que escrib\u00eda. Gustaba.\u00a0<br\/>Me fui, me cas\u00e9, segu\u00ed yendo a conciertos.\u00a0<br\/>Conoc\u00ed gente, artistas, de toda edad y toda aspiraci\u00f3n.\u00a0<br\/>Empec\u00e9 a escribir, interpretar lo que escrib\u00eda en p\u00fablico, en otro idioma, con m\u00fasicos tocando a la par.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Ca\u00ed en un grupo peque\u00f1o, potente, correcto, incorrecto, de ellos. De ellas.\u00a0<br\/>Digo \u201chicimos una banda\u201d, pero deb\u00ed haber dicho \u201chice mi banda\u201d. Equitativo, gradualmente jer\u00e1rquico, toma de Estado.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Mi coraz\u00f3n, mi cerebro, mi cuerpo, marionetas, cometiendo mil errores y lastimando gente que de verdad me amaba.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Con la que todo ya ha sido por suerte restaurado, perdonando, s\u00f3lo por esa gente, pero no por m\u00ed ni por aquellas que me tomaron, succionaron, dejaron.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Que con ellos se llevaron la m\u00fasica, la palabra, por lo que hab\u00eda tanto luchado.\u00a0<br\/>Gente que en mi vida s\u00f3lo estuvo 3 a\u00f1os me arrebat\u00f3 aquello que hab\u00eda amado desde hace m\u00e1s de 30 a\u00f1os.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>La m\u00fasica ya no era m\u00eda.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Pas\u00e9 de hacerla a callarla.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>De escucharla a temerla.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>U\u00f1as en la pizarra.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Espadas que cortan muy desde adentro.\u00a0<br\/>Mi obra escrita ha sido publicada, pero esa conexi\u00f3n se ha perdido.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Siempre est\u00e1 ese miedo al abandono.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Al olvido.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Fui un nombre que ya no lo es.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Una voz quieta.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Un refugio incinerado.\u00a0\u00a0<br\/>Un talento (?), un orgullo (?) enterrados.\u00a0<br\/><em>\u201cI was a hero, god dammit\u201d.<\/em>\u00a0<br\/>O quiz\u00e1s s\u00f3lo lo fui mientras acicalaba otros egos y me hac\u00eda su reflejo, su acto de caridad, con tantas identidades pero sin identidad propia.\u00a0<\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Juan Luis Guerra 4-40 - Burbujas De Amor (Video Oficial)\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/PWGwF_B0bxk?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" 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